Have you seen it yet?

man searching

I was working with Grant one day and during lunch he related an experience he had with a customer a few days before.

It would seem he was completing some additional works for a rich bored housewife in North Leeds, the work went well and lots of cups of tea were offered. He related that the housewife wore here nighty and thin housecoat all day.

Grant tested the personal attack button in the master bedroom and found that it had a fault, the buttons were a simple design, the button itself had a shaft on the back with a milled ring at one point on its length, a hole on the end permitted a spring to be fitted to retain the button in the non-alarm state until pressed, and then return it once reset, a similar mechanism to a toy dart gun, with the dart being the button and the trigger being the microswitch lever. 

The button had a microswitch with a lever arm mounted so as that with the button out in its non-alarm position, the lever arm was in the pressed down position, pressing the button until the milled ring aligned with the microswitch lever allowed the lever to spring into an alarm condition position, the lever arm then held the button in the pressed position until a small key was inserted, the key depressed the microswitch lever to allow the button to spring back out into the non-alarm position once more. 

This design had a flaw, the microswitch lever arm may not move far enough for the microswitch to activate, this was the situation with the button on this occasion. Tim took the button to pieces to apply a bit of a bend to the lever arm, a standard fix, when the little spring escaped and shot across the room.

The room had deep pile carpets so Grant kneeled and started to run his fingers through the wool to find the spring when the lady of the house walked in, “what are you doing” she asked, Grant (who has a stutter when under stress) replied, I, I , I’m looking f,f,for a l,l,ittle s,s,s,s spring he replied. At that the customer kneeled and copied Grant sweeping her fingers through the carpet pile in curves and moving forward slowly. 

After a couple of minutes, Grant looked up and his nose was just an inch or so from the ladies bottom, at that moment she spoke “have you seen it yet” she asked, Grant replied enthusiastically al, al, al, almost, at which she looked round and could see how close he was to her behind, she rolled her eyes, tutted loudly and continued the search.